You know you are from Pennsylvania when:

• You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow."
• You say the correct pronunciation LANG-kist-er instead of the mispronounced Lan-CAST-er, and LEB-en-in instead of the equally incorrect Leb-a-NON.
• You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in LARD.
• You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips,pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna.
• You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."
• You know what REAL pot pie is.
• YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing."
• You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is the most nearly perfect food on earth.
• You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today," and "They're calling for snow."
• You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.
• You only buy your beer and soda by the case.
• You think the roads in any other state are smooth.
• You know the Penn State cheer, and although you've never attended PennState, you are a most obnoxious Penn State fan. (WE ARE...ANNOYING!)
• Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the window to see what's going on outside.
• You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield.
• You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva.
• You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.
• School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district.
• When someone says 1972, you think "Agnes," and when someone says 1979, you think "TMI."
• You call sloppy joes "barbecue."
• When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.
• You can give directions to Intercourse with a straight face.
• Know that Yuengling is pronounced "Ying-ling," and believe that it really is a premium beer (which comes from growing up on Schlitz and Iron City).
• Have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: "From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment. . . . "
• Know that Wilkes-Barre is pronounced "Wilks Berry."
• Can pronounce "Knoebels."
• Can pronounce (or spell) "Schuylkill."
• Live for summer, when street fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.
• Have a day off school on the Monday after Thanksgiving, which is the first day of hunting season.
• Never have to worry about being stuck in a ditch when it's snowing. -someone in a 4WD pickup with tow chains will be along shortly.
• Elect pro-life Democrats and pro-choice Republicans for Governor (i.e., Casey and Ridge)
• Frequently go "with," e.g., "You going to the market? Mind if I come with?"
• Refer to something as "a whole nother," e.g., "That's a whole nother issue."

LANG-kist-er regional specialties:

• You've been "yoney-bopping."
• You know where Schoeneck, Salunga, Ronks, and Bird-in-Hand are.
• You have "dinner" for lunch.
• You've eaten "Shoo-fly pie or Whoopie pie" at the Green Dragon.
• Manure smells sweet.
• You REALLY HATE antiquers. On Sunday mornings you would scream "Go back to Jersey!" at least once on the way to church.
• When you were a kid and somebody really pissed you off, you said, "I'm gonna deck you!"
• You know the expression, "Hey naw! Watchya dewin'?"
• THE groundhog is Octoraro Orphie, NOT Punxsutawney Phil.
• You know what Lebanon bologna and Scrapple are made from but you STILL love it.
• You know where to buy "Opera Fudge" and that it has absolutely no connection to the Opera.
• You say the correct pronunciation LANG-kist-er instead of the mispronounced Lan-CAST-er, and LEP-nin instead of the equally-incorrect Leb-a-NON.
• You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in PIG LARD.
• You ask the waitress for "dippy ecks" for breakfast.
• You do things "wunst," as in "I'll go check in the back room wunst."
• Your neighbors' names are King, Driebelbis, Stoltzfus, Lapp, Mummau, Yoder, Lebo, Peachy, Risser, Musser or anything ending in "-baugh or -ouch, or -er.
• You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today, "and THEY want snow wunst."
• Red Beet Ecks makes your list of top ten favorite foods.
• You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET.
• You say you're going out to the shed "AWHILE," instead of "FOR AWHILE."
• When you buy your beer you worry that the neighbors saw you, so you sneak it into your house for fear of  reprisals from the Mennonite Mafia
• The only Jewish people that you've ever met have been from New York or New Jersey.
• You know what Wilbur Buds are.
• You think Medium Rare equals Well Done, Dry as a bone and Tasteless.
• You love the Phillies (unless they stink) in which case you love the Orioles (unless they stink) in which case you solemnly swear that you've never even liked the Phillies or the Orioles, but have always been a Penn State fan. (That Cho Paterno is O.K. if he chust wasn't so Eyetalian, wunst)
• You actually think "WGAL" and the "Lancaster New Era" are acceptable forms of informational media.
• You shy away from any new restaurant because the food might be "Too Spicy".
• If when something gets all fouled up you say that it's "Ferhoontzed"
• If your favorite foods include Hawg Maw, Shnitz und Knepp, Rivells, Puddin's, Cracklin's or Buttered Noodles.
• When the scope of your ability to create a nickname for someone is limited to putting a "Y" at the end of their last name. (Here comes Schmitty and Blacky wunst)
• When you refer to people from Italy as "Eye-talians".
• If you've ever used the phrase "You's are comin' with then, ain't?" and meant "Will you be accompanying me?"
• If you refer to putrid animal manure smells as "Guud Country Air"
• If you think that the sun rises just east of Ephrata, and sets just west of the Susquehanna. 
• If you think that if you have to leave Langkister County to get it, it's not really worth having.
  

And near Pittsburgh when:

• The plural of "you" is "youns."
• Most sentences end with "an'at" (abbreviated from "and that") -- I'm still not sure of the derivation, but it's the local version of "and stuff" or "and so on."
• You HOOVER, you don't vaccuum.
• You get sodie-pops.
• You only own three spices: salt, pepper, ketchup.
• You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
• You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
• You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
• Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
• You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
• You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
• Your snowblower gets stuck on your roof.
• The local paper covers National and International headlines on 1/4 page but requires six pages for sports.
• You think the start of deer hunting is a National Holiday.
• You head south to go to your cottage.
• You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
• You find -20F "a little" chilly.
• The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
• You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
• The municipality buys a Zamboni before a school bus.
• You don't understand how anyone could watch a football game without ethier halupki, halushki, or kielbosa.
• You remember fondly days of youth known as "Snow Days".
• You don't understand why all sports commentators don't sound more like Cope.
• Words like: gumband; buggy; hoagie; chipped ham; and pop actually mean something to you.
• You can use the phrase "Firehall Wedding" and not even bat an eye.
• You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Penna friends.